When is Enough Enough?
On a daily basis I come in contact with women and sometimes men who are in relationships that are going nowhere. It's easy to say what we will and will not do when we are on the outside looking in...but what happens when you are the one in that dead end relationship? I know if "I"am asking when is enough enough the person living it HAS to be asking themselves the same question.
I've been the soundboard for many and often times the voice of reason. What I typically point out are all the red flags that we often overlook...most of the times those red flags have been purposefully overlooked. Why? Because we want things to work out no matter how bad it hurts. So the question remains...when is enough enough?
I'll tell you when enough is enough. When you wake up everyday feeling unloved, unwanted, and unhappy. When you never hear I love you, how can I help you, or why are you sad? When you've been physically, mentally, and emotionally beaten and battered.
If you're with someone that contributes nothing to the relationship...absolutely nothing. That's when you know it's time to leave. When your pain doesn't matter to them and they're okay with seeing you struggle and don't care for you or your children then enough is enough.
Here is my example. My husband hates to see me hurt...when I hurt he hurts. When I'm sad he's sad and his ultimate goal is to make my pain go away. So, if the person you love doesn't hurt when you hurt and is typically the one doing the hurting then enough is enough.
When this person not only hurts and disrespects you but those around you (family, friends, loved ones) as well enough is enough. If you're the only person fighting...then it's obvious YOU'RE the only person that wants to be in the relationship.
I'm no relationship expert... I've been with the same man for 14 years. But what I am an expert in is being and feeling loved. Every day my husband not only tells me he loves me but he shows me through his actions. We are not perfect but we both put forth the same effort in our relationship.
People...it's so cliche but it's so true...ACTIONS REALLY DO SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.
I'm not saying give up on a relationship that works but you're having a rough patch or you had an argument and you can't get your way. I believe in marriage and I believe in therapy and putting in the work. But what I don't believe in is staying in a relationship where it's clear you are not with the right person but you're hoping things change. So, what I'm saying is don't ignore the signs. The red flags are always there. When it's over it's over and there is nothing you can do about it. Don't give your life to a person that doesn't give a crap about you, wants to control you, and that will eventually destroy you.
Don't stay miserable and trapped in a dead end relationship. You only have 1 life to live and God gave that to YOU. You deserve to be loved...you deserve to be happy. But it doesn't just fall from the sky. Settling for abuse (of any kind), mistreatment, and disrespect is unacceptable.
Life is beautiful and if you can't see it something is blocking your view. Trust me, you can walk away and survive. Don't be fooled by someone who shows you who they are every. single. day. but you're waiting on them to one day love you, to one day respect you, and to one day care. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
XOXO
Lashonda
I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes: "When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time."-Dr. Maya Angelou
I've been the soundboard for many and often times the voice of reason. What I typically point out are all the red flags that we often overlook...most of the times those red flags have been purposefully overlooked. Why? Because we want things to work out no matter how bad it hurts. So the question remains...when is enough enough?
I'll tell you when enough is enough. When you wake up everyday feeling unloved, unwanted, and unhappy. When you never hear I love you, how can I help you, or why are you sad? When you've been physically, mentally, and emotionally beaten and battered.
If you're with someone that contributes nothing to the relationship...absolutely nothing. That's when you know it's time to leave. When your pain doesn't matter to them and they're okay with seeing you struggle and don't care for you or your children then enough is enough.
Here is my example. My husband hates to see me hurt...when I hurt he hurts. When I'm sad he's sad and his ultimate goal is to make my pain go away. So, if the person you love doesn't hurt when you hurt and is typically the one doing the hurting then enough is enough.
When this person not only hurts and disrespects you but those around you (family, friends, loved ones) as well enough is enough. If you're the only person fighting...then it's obvious YOU'RE the only person that wants to be in the relationship.
I'm no relationship expert... I've been with the same man for 14 years. But what I am an expert in is being and feeling loved. Every day my husband not only tells me he loves me but he shows me through his actions. We are not perfect but we both put forth the same effort in our relationship.
People...it's so cliche but it's so true...ACTIONS REALLY DO SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.
I'm not saying give up on a relationship that works but you're having a rough patch or you had an argument and you can't get your way. I believe in marriage and I believe in therapy and putting in the work. But what I don't believe in is staying in a relationship where it's clear you are not with the right person but you're hoping things change. So, what I'm saying is don't ignore the signs. The red flags are always there. When it's over it's over and there is nothing you can do about it. Don't give your life to a person that doesn't give a crap about you, wants to control you, and that will eventually destroy you.
Don't stay miserable and trapped in a dead end relationship. You only have 1 life to live and God gave that to YOU. You deserve to be loved...you deserve to be happy. But it doesn't just fall from the sky. Settling for abuse (of any kind), mistreatment, and disrespect is unacceptable.
Life is beautiful and if you can't see it something is blocking your view. Trust me, you can walk away and survive. Don't be fooled by someone who shows you who they are every. single. day. but you're waiting on them to one day love you, to one day respect you, and to one day care. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
XOXO
Lashonda
I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes: "When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time."-Dr. Maya Angelou
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