Pretty in Pearls

I’m being completely vulnerable in this post. If you don’t have a tissue you may want to grab one. It’s emotional for me as I write it so I know you as a reader will feel so much of my hurt throughout this post. But for 10 years I haven’t shared this.  In my last post about my mom I didn’t get this detailed and realized it was still very surface. It was so important at that time in my life but it was literally only scratching the surface. I wasn’t ready then but today I am. Today I want to talk about the number ten. TEN. One of the numbers of completion and perfection. The number of years it’s been since my mother passed away. First it was 10 minutes, 10 hours, 10 days and then 10 months. Now 10 years. Pushing through each of those moments has been absolutely excruciating. But as they say you dig your heels in and you stay the course. For 10 years I’ve stayed the course never really speaking much about what that intails but growing consistently throughout. What it took to get here

 I just drove 3 hours from Waco to San Antonio and once I got home my heart was so full and my eyelids so heavy. I needed to write. So here I am at 10:30PM writing a piece of my heart and soul to share with you. I'm going to start by saying I'm not ready. I'm not ready to share all the details. I'm not ready to share all the feelings. I'm not sure I'm ready to even write what I'm about to write...yet here I am Ipad in hand. Let's begin by talking about emotions...all the feels and how drastically they can change from day to day because guess what...it's life. Last week I received some news that reminded me just how crazy life can be. The flood of emotions and thoughts one can have once they receive any kind of news, good or bad, is astounding. On Monday I was in shock and speechless and if you know me then you know a speechless Lashonda is hard to achieve. On Tuesday I was confused. On Wednesday I was numb. On Thursday I was emotional. Friday I w

Wow! Life is hard. There’s no roadmap. There’s no hidden answers. There’s no wizard behind a curtain. There’s just the pressure of wanting to get it right. Wanting to get it right for yourself, your significant other, your children, your friends, your co-workers...your future. Everyday I wake up I can only hope that I’m doing everything right. The one thing I can guarantee is I’m doing the best I can. When faced with hardships and hard decisions you not only wonder why it’s happening to you but you question whether or not you can withstand the storm. I have been faced with some doozies in my 32 years but what I can say is if we hang in there a little while longer we push through. This week has been an overall disappointing week. Not for me personally but for me vicariously. I’ve fasted for the last 21 days and this week I’ve been extremely emotional. I really can’t explain this feeling in my stomach. Things are happening all around me to the people I love and there’s very little I

Last night I cried.  I cried for the ones who think it’s weak to cry, for the ones who feel they have to carry the world on their shoulders, for the ones who so desperately want to be loved but love keeps falling short. Last night I cried for the ones who only know pain and sadness, for the ones who feel they can’t cry because they have to be strong for the masses. I cried for those of us who everyday cry in silence.  I wrote an entire blog post yesterday with the same title as this one. It had a completely different feeling to it and after reading it a few times and letting my husband read it (which from now on is a MUST because sometimes I need to be told “whoa lil hammer!”) I decided it wasn’t the direction I wanted to go. Therefore, I’m starting over and writing something that speaks to not just my soul but yours as well. So open your hearts and receive the message I have to share. It may be all over the place and I may ramble a little...but that happens when I am passionate.

Heyyyy y’all! This post won’t be very long or very dramatic but it’s about something I’m sure we all are guilty of at times. I wanted to shine a light on this because I truly believe that if we know better we do better. Therefore, WE have no excuse to continue making the same mistakes in life.  I was talking to a friend recently and they decided to give me a “spill” about how your house should be like a vacation everytime you enter. They also said I spend tons of money on actual vacations but when we are out I don’t like to buy expensive things for my house OR I “skimp” out and put things back. First of all, I LOVE the things in my home. It’s the perfect combination of me and my husband. That’s how I feel it should be. When I get home it’s not just my happy place it’s OUR happy place, OUR comfort zone, and I don’t have to buy things for it every time I shop.  I’m very happy with the way it is. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m always open to feedback but you also have to know how t

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."-Maya Angelou This is one of my favorite quotes. I repeat it to myself and to my friends religiously but I have been such a hypocrite when it comes to this phrase lately. I haven’t been practicing what I preach. This quote basically means if you pay attention to people’s actions and not their words you will see the real person. I went back to Waco for the first time since my move this past weekend and boy were there so many things and people that I've missed. But there are also things that I have to be OK with leaving in Waco. Things I have to believe to be true because that's what I've been shown.  Have you ever been in a relationship, friendship, situation-ship or ANYTHING-ship in which you were pulling...pulling to be the best friend, the best wife or husband, the best employee, the best PERSON you could possibly be but the other person or thing was pushing...pushing you away, pushing towa

Last week I came across a meme that stated something along the lines of "check on your strong friends." It's crazy because I immediately thought about myself. I don't naturally share what's going on in my life with people. Often times I think I am handling it (along with everyone else's problems)...until I am not. One major lesson I learned over the last year is not to get involved in other people's drama. At the end of the day I am the one stressed and the next week they're out here LIVING and doing the same things they were just complaining to me about! lol But I am getting off subject. So back to checking on your strong friends... Over the last year my home life has been absolutely amazing. I have the best husband in the world. But let's face it my work life has been causing me sooo much stress and only a handful of people were aware of this. Only a handful of people were aware that I started having anxiety attacks at work and started medicati