Last Night I Cried...
Last night I cried.
I cried for the ones who think it’s weak to cry, for the ones who feel they have to carry the world on their shoulders, for the ones who so desperately want to be loved but love keeps falling short. Last night I cried for the ones who only know pain and sadness, for the ones who feel they can’t cry because they have to be strong for the masses. I cried for those of us who everyday cry in silence.
I wrote an entire blog post yesterday with the same title as this one. It had a completely different feeling to it and after reading it a few times and letting my husband read it (which from now on is a MUST because sometimes I need to be told “whoa lil hammer!”) I decided it wasn’t the direction I wanted to go. Therefore, I’m starting over and writing something that speaks to not just my soul but yours as well. So open your hearts and receive the message I have to share. It may be all over the place and I may ramble a little...but that happens when I am passionate.
Life is full of experiences and expectations...ups, downs, smiles, frowns. Being uplifted and being let down. It’s a rollercoaster ride... and we are all on the same ride for the very first time. Forgive me if I mess up a few times. Life is about the journey. We make mistakes along the way but that’s just part of the process. We were never told it would be easy but what I can guarantee is it's worth living.
Ask yourself, how many times in the last month did I screw up? How many times did I make a mistake? Have I truly hurt someone unintentionally? Have I forgiven myself for it? Have I allowed myself to be sad, to cry, to mourn whatever it is I lost during that encounter? Somewhere along the way we stopped wanting to FEEL. Or is it that we stopped wanting to show weakness? Whatever the case may be we have decided that strong is the way to be, always plow through, always tough it out. Why can't we be strong AND acknowledge the hurt at the same time? I am learning that it is okay to admit that I am not perfect, I am flawed, I accidentally hurt people, and people hurt me. It's okay to say I wake up some days and I am sad for no reason and some days I struggle to get out of the bed. IT. IS. OKAY. Let me be the first to tell you...you don't have to keep up this charade when on the inside you are crumbling. I've tried it...it doesn't work.
Lately so many people who appear to be happy have proven to be so broken on the inside. We have witnessed loved ones and celebrities take their lives while we stand on the sidelines wondering why. Why? Because they appeared to be happy to us. All of the smoke and mirrors...this facade...the facade is causing more pain than hurt. This idea of not being vulnerable and not voicing the pain we feel and getting the help we need is killing us silently but expeditiously. So to the silent criers...I hear you. There is nothing wrong with being overwhelmed by it all...there is nothing wrong with asking for help.
Earlier I mentioned having written a post with the same title as this one. I wrote that blog because someone had hurt me. Someone made me so angry I cried. Instead of writing from a place of pain I decided to write from a place of love. I realized that person is living a life surrounded by smoke and mirrors...purposefully wanting to inflict pain on others....living in a place of sadness and wanting others to feel that same pain. Instead I wanted to say I see you. I hear you. And, I hope you find your happiness. Last night I cried FOR you not BECAUSE of you.
I told y'all I may ramble and I feel a little all over the place right now. But, if you know someone struggling to get out of bed, struggling to stay afloat tell them you love them and tell them it is okay to not have it all together. If you know someone who seems to only want to hurt others and are jealous of what they have...that's pain too so pray for them and tell them that you love them regardless. I am still a work in progress and I am learning to love people THROUGH their pain, THROUGH their hurt, THROUGH their anger, THROUGH their depression, THROUGH their addiction. It isn't always easy and it doesn't mean I have to allow you to continue to hurt me in the process but when you are ready I am here because I never stopped loving you.
If you are the person hurting in silence now is the time to ask for help. Now is the time to step outside of the smoke and mirrors and just be REAL. Someone loves you and someone hasn't given up on you. Don't give up on yourself.
XOXO
Lashonda
I cried for the ones who think it’s weak to cry, for the ones who feel they have to carry the world on their shoulders, for the ones who so desperately want to be loved but love keeps falling short. Last night I cried for the ones who only know pain and sadness, for the ones who feel they can’t cry because they have to be strong for the masses. I cried for those of us who everyday cry in silence.
I wrote an entire blog post yesterday with the same title as this one. It had a completely different feeling to it and after reading it a few times and letting my husband read it (which from now on is a MUST because sometimes I need to be told “whoa lil hammer!”) I decided it wasn’t the direction I wanted to go. Therefore, I’m starting over and writing something that speaks to not just my soul but yours as well. So open your hearts and receive the message I have to share. It may be all over the place and I may ramble a little...but that happens when I am passionate.
Life is full of experiences and expectations...ups, downs, smiles, frowns. Being uplifted and being let down. It’s a rollercoaster ride... and we are all on the same ride for the very first time. Forgive me if I mess up a few times. Life is about the journey. We make mistakes along the way but that’s just part of the process. We were never told it would be easy but what I can guarantee is it's worth living.
Ask yourself, how many times in the last month did I screw up? How many times did I make a mistake? Have I truly hurt someone unintentionally? Have I forgiven myself for it? Have I allowed myself to be sad, to cry, to mourn whatever it is I lost during that encounter? Somewhere along the way we stopped wanting to FEEL. Or is it that we stopped wanting to show weakness? Whatever the case may be we have decided that strong is the way to be, always plow through, always tough it out. Why can't we be strong AND acknowledge the hurt at the same time? I am learning that it is okay to admit that I am not perfect, I am flawed, I accidentally hurt people, and people hurt me. It's okay to say I wake up some days and I am sad for no reason and some days I struggle to get out of the bed. IT. IS. OKAY. Let me be the first to tell you...you don't have to keep up this charade when on the inside you are crumbling. I've tried it...it doesn't work.
Lately so many people who appear to be happy have proven to be so broken on the inside. We have witnessed loved ones and celebrities take their lives while we stand on the sidelines wondering why. Why? Because they appeared to be happy to us. All of the smoke and mirrors...this facade...the facade is causing more pain than hurt. This idea of not being vulnerable and not voicing the pain we feel and getting the help we need is killing us silently but expeditiously. So to the silent criers...I hear you. There is nothing wrong with being overwhelmed by it all...there is nothing wrong with asking for help.
Earlier I mentioned having written a post with the same title as this one. I wrote that blog because someone had hurt me. Someone made me so angry I cried. Instead of writing from a place of pain I decided to write from a place of love. I realized that person is living a life surrounded by smoke and mirrors...purposefully wanting to inflict pain on others....living in a place of sadness and wanting others to feel that same pain. Instead I wanted to say I see you. I hear you. And, I hope you find your happiness. Last night I cried FOR you not BECAUSE of you.
I told y'all I may ramble and I feel a little all over the place right now. But, if you know someone struggling to get out of bed, struggling to stay afloat tell them you love them and tell them it is okay to not have it all together. If you know someone who seems to only want to hurt others and are jealous of what they have...that's pain too so pray for them and tell them that you love them regardless. I am still a work in progress and I am learning to love people THROUGH their pain, THROUGH their hurt, THROUGH their anger, THROUGH their depression, THROUGH their addiction. It isn't always easy and it doesn't mean I have to allow you to continue to hurt me in the process but when you are ready I am here because I never stopped loving you.
If you are the person hurting in silence now is the time to ask for help. Now is the time to step outside of the smoke and mirrors and just be REAL. Someone loves you and someone hasn't given up on you. Don't give up on yourself.
XOXO
Lashonda
Life is meant to be lived. Don't spend it in silence.
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