I've Been a Hypocrite: Pushing and Pulling
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."-Maya Angelou
This is one of my favorite quotes. I repeat it to myself and to my friends religiously but I have been such a hypocrite when it comes to this phrase lately. I haven’t been practicing what I preach. This quote basically means if you pay attention to people’s actions and not their words you will see the real person.
I went back to Waco for the first time since my move this past weekend and boy were there so many things and people that I've missed. But there are also things that I have to be OK with leaving in Waco. Things I have to believe to be true because that's what I've been shown.
Have you ever been in a relationship, friendship, situation-ship or ANYTHING-ship in which you were pulling...pulling to be the best friend, the best wife or husband, the best employee, the best PERSON you could possibly be but the other person or thing was pushing...pushing you away, pushing towards the past, or simply pushing in another direction that wasn’t comfortable for you. I'd been pulling for a very long time when I lived in Waco whether that was with my job or with people. I finally stopped pulling for my job because it was crushing me. I finally decided to take everything I had to offer someplace that made me happier. Unfortunately, I never stopped pulling in other areas. Now it’s clear, whatever is meant to be is meant to be and I have to let it go. It’s hard to let go sometimes because you have done everything that you possibly can to make things work. But when that thing is pushing you away and you are steadfast in pulling for it to be "the way it was" the only one that gets hurt in the end is you. People will pull for what they want to pull for, PERIOD. They will push or avoid what they don't. I don't know about you but I am tired of the tug of war...I'm tired of being let down. People will love what they love and they will do what they want to do. We have to let them. If they don't want to pull for you they will not pull for you. Let. It. Go.
I’ve come to realize that you can’t and I don't want to force anything on anyone. Sometimes people just can't be what you need for them to be in your life and that's OK. After all, they have no obligation to be anything in your life anyway. Another reality is sometimes they just don't know how. They’re still learning themselves.
When I let someone new into my life I love hard. I will go to bat for them, I will fight for them, cry with them, and do all I can to uplift them because I never want to see them hurt or see them in pain. When I'm done. I'm done. I can be brutally honest with you at times because I love you and because I don't want to see you make the same mistakes over and over again. Sometimes that's a good thing but sometimes it pushes people away. I'm OK with that too because that's who I am and I accept that. Some people are so used to hearing what they want to hear that they shy away or avoid the truth. A real friend will always be 100 with you but will be in your corner either way. That's me. I will sit and grit my teeth because if you're happy then go for it. *Kanye Shrug* BUT, if you needed me when you needed me and when you don't anymore you're not the same person. What does that mean? I wonder if you were using me...I question if you were ever really the person I thought you were in the beginning . Or was I just what you needed me to be for you at that particular time in your life. Either way I choose to walk away.
I know you are questioning whether or not walking away is giving up on something or someone you care about. I wouldn't say that it is giving up. I would say that I am taking back control of everything that I have control over and letting go of the things I cannot control. Letting go of toxicity and constantly being pushed. When they are ready to pull for you they will pull for you and believe me you will know.
Sit back and watch actions because words can be misleading. Actions don’t lie they amplify. Amplify who a person really is. Never be afraid to take the love and energy you have and place it into reciprocated relationships because that's healthy...that is the right thing to do FOR YOU. Take a deep breath now...and release it.
Xoxo
Lashonda
Cheers to the future!
This is one of my favorite quotes. I repeat it to myself and to my friends religiously but I have been such a hypocrite when it comes to this phrase lately. I haven’t been practicing what I preach. This quote basically means if you pay attention to people’s actions and not their words you will see the real person.
I went back to Waco for the first time since my move this past weekend and boy were there so many things and people that I've missed. But there are also things that I have to be OK with leaving in Waco. Things I have to believe to be true because that's what I've been shown.
Have you ever been in a relationship, friendship, situation-ship or ANYTHING-ship in which you were pulling...pulling to be the best friend, the best wife or husband, the best employee, the best PERSON you could possibly be but the other person or thing was pushing...pushing you away, pushing towards the past, or simply pushing in another direction that wasn’t comfortable for you. I'd been pulling for a very long time when I lived in Waco whether that was with my job or with people. I finally stopped pulling for my job because it was crushing me. I finally decided to take everything I had to offer someplace that made me happier. Unfortunately, I never stopped pulling in other areas. Now it’s clear, whatever is meant to be is meant to be and I have to let it go. It’s hard to let go sometimes because you have done everything that you possibly can to make things work. But when that thing is pushing you away and you are steadfast in pulling for it to be "the way it was" the only one that gets hurt in the end is you. People will pull for what they want to pull for, PERIOD. They will push or avoid what they don't. I don't know about you but I am tired of the tug of war...I'm tired of being let down. People will love what they love and they will do what they want to do. We have to let them. If they don't want to pull for you they will not pull for you. Let. It. Go.
I’ve come to realize that you can’t and I don't want to force anything on anyone. Sometimes people just can't be what you need for them to be in your life and that's OK. After all, they have no obligation to be anything in your life anyway. Another reality is sometimes they just don't know how. They’re still learning themselves.
When I let someone new into my life I love hard. I will go to bat for them, I will fight for them, cry with them, and do all I can to uplift them because I never want to see them hurt or see them in pain. When I'm done. I'm done. I can be brutally honest with you at times because I love you and because I don't want to see you make the same mistakes over and over again. Sometimes that's a good thing but sometimes it pushes people away. I'm OK with that too because that's who I am and I accept that. Some people are so used to hearing what they want to hear that they shy away or avoid the truth. A real friend will always be 100 with you but will be in your corner either way. That's me. I will sit and grit my teeth because if you're happy then go for it. *Kanye Shrug* BUT, if you needed me when you needed me and when you don't anymore you're not the same person. What does that mean? I wonder if you were using me...I question if you were ever really the person I thought you were in the beginning . Or was I just what you needed me to be for you at that particular time in your life. Either way I choose to walk away.
I know you are questioning whether or not walking away is giving up on something or someone you care about. I wouldn't say that it is giving up. I would say that I am taking back control of everything that I have control over and letting go of the things I cannot control. Letting go of toxicity and constantly being pushed. When they are ready to pull for you they will pull for you and believe me you will know.
Sit back and watch actions because words can be misleading. Actions don’t lie they amplify. Amplify who a person really is. Never be afraid to take the love and energy you have and place it into reciprocated relationships because that's healthy...that is the right thing to do FOR YOU. Take a deep breath now...and release it.
Xoxo
Lashonda
Cheers to the future!
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