July 16th: Happy Birthday Mama

If people ask I don't mind telling. Being able to speak about the death of my mother is truly hard but today is her day and she always liked attention. Lol 

At 22 years old I NEVER imagined I'd wake up one day and my mother would be gone. I took having her for granted and it's something I'll never forgive myself for. We had a great relationship but I just wish I had more time. As a busy college student I would've called more, I would've went home more, I would've said I love you more, I would've said don't ever leave me. 

I last seen and talked to my mom on Thanksgiving Day 2008, 7 days before she passed away. (I beat myself up for a while about those 7 days. I always called once a week but this week was finals). It's a day I'll never forget and parts of it I remember like it was yesterday. I wanted 1 picture with my mom and all my sisters (Yes, friends I loved taking pictures then too). 

Thanksgiving was at my sister Erica's house this year as she'd just suffered a major loss 1 month prior and she would not get dressed for this picture for the LIFE of me!!! lol I fussed and fussed until she finally got dressed. We took the last picture we'd ever take with my mom that day. 

That last sentence was so hard for me to write and I've broken down a few times to get through it because writing it reminds me this is real. So I'll stop there because I can't continue.  

What I will say is the end of 2008 was a year of change for us. When my mom passed away certain things stopped. We did more, we loved more, we said more when she was here. She was our glue and we can never get that back. All we can do is our best with what we have. But it has to be our BEST! So, to my sisters, are we truly giving our best? Would she be proud? Are we being the best sisters, daughters, mothers, WOMEN that we can be?

Mary Ann May was truly one of a kind. She was funny and she was caring; she was a granny, aunt, and friend. Most importantly she was my mother...our mother. 


Happy Birthday Momma.  

I love you. XOXO


Thanksgiving 2008. Only God. He knew before we could even imagine.  

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