Unrealistic Fucking Expectations
Hey Ya'll!
If you know me, KNOW me then you probably know I am a curser...yes like a sailor (Sorry daddy, those bitter ole sisters were right all along). You also know, because you probably follow my blogs, that I try not to write using curse words let alone put one in my blog title. But sometimes there just needs to be PURE and UNFILTERED honesty and this title is how I am feeling right now. So listen, this particular title for this particular post is NECESSARY!
I started this post 3 days ago, very quickly in the notes section of my phone, with a lump of hurt in my throat and in my heart that was manifesting as anger. I had to step away from everyone for the remainder of the day because I knew if I spoke to anyone at any point it was going to be an "altercation" and not a "conversation." Ya'll! Self-awareness is so very important. Knowing yourself and your limits IS SO IMPORTANT! I know Lashonda and I know when she needs to step away. I also know there are very few things that can push me to THIS limit and that, my friends, is hurt rearing it's face as anger. So I was hurt. But by what?
Expectations. It was unrealistic expectations AGAIN. Why is this so freaking hard for me!? It is literally the number one thing that's difficult for me to not really accept...but to GRASP. I know that people let you down. I know that no one is perfect. I also know that everyone would never and could never do things the way I do and that's okay. I guess it's the pain that comes along with someone I thought so much of falling short of my expectations and this false reality I created that weighs heavy on my heart. Somehow I have to let that go. Here is my vulnerable place folks...I cry and I hurt when people let me down.
Yes, I am in a season of expectation letdowns right now. But, here is my saving grace, I am also in my season of GRATITUDE right now and that outweighs any letdown. I was just thinking yesterday that this year has been a good year regardless of any other small painful thing I experienced. Being in a season of letdowns at the same time as my season of gratitude is teaching me to focus on the things that matter more than the things that don't. So yes, I am in the midst of some of my HARDEST expectations lessons but I am also in the midst of one of my GREATEST and most POWERFUL gratitude seasons. And let me tell you...Gratitude won't ever let you down. I can feel God saying don't worry about those that fall short AND be grateful for the ones that don't. He is saying Shonda, be grateful for the ones that are always right there, in your corner, and routing you on. Acknowledge THOSE people more. He is saying stop expecting so much of people and they don't even know the expectations you have set for them. He is saying the ones that you have shared your expectations with if they don't live up to it...then they don't live up to it... are you willing to lower the bar or is that bar too low for you? That's your choice. God is saying be grateful for every single small thing that's panning out in your life right now and move past those things that cause hurt and frustration.
Guys, people are not perfect. We are some of the most flawed individuals on this planet. To be completely honest with you we let people down too. We don't call enough. We don't listen enough. We show up late. We sometimes set unrealistic expectations for people and blame them for letting us down and THAT is a hard pill to swallow but it's the truth. And yes, sometimes, people really do let us down even after we have explained our expectations and what causes us hurt and pain and they still cause hurt and pain. But if we can't forgive them and move on...with or without them in our lives...then we are constantly going to be in a place of bitterness, hurt, and frustration. We either have to accept them where they are or not at all.
So with this blog post I am letting all of my hurt, pain, and frustration go. All of the constant thoughts and verbalization of I've done this for them but they've not done this for me or the they did this but I would never do that to them....I let it go. I honestly Let. It. Go. I leave it right here on this post because I HAVE TO FOR ME.
What do you need to leave on this post with me? We all have something that is causing us hurt and frustration. Something that has been so hard for us to grasp or accept. Think about it because it is time to let that crap go ya'll. It is like a diseases that gets inside of us and slowly kills our spirit, our happiness, and our love for others. Don't become bitter sis/bro. Get rid of the "unrealistic fucking expectations." Grab a pen, write it down, and once you have done so ball that shit up into a tight ball and throw it in the GOBBAGE (Garbage lol). Let's let it go together so we can breathe and be grateful for all that is true and good in our lives because to be honest with you 2019 has been a great year and it's not even over yet.
Love you all
XOXO
Lashonda
If you know me, KNOW me then you probably know I am a curser...yes like a sailor (Sorry daddy, those bitter ole sisters were right all along). You also know, because you probably follow my blogs, that I try not to write using curse words let alone put one in my blog title. But sometimes there just needs to be PURE and UNFILTERED honesty and this title is how I am feeling right now. So listen, this particular title for this particular post is NECESSARY!
I started this post 3 days ago, very quickly in the notes section of my phone, with a lump of hurt in my throat and in my heart that was manifesting as anger. I had to step away from everyone for the remainder of the day because I knew if I spoke to anyone at any point it was going to be an "altercation" and not a "conversation." Ya'll! Self-awareness is so very important. Knowing yourself and your limits IS SO IMPORTANT! I know Lashonda and I know when she needs to step away. I also know there are very few things that can push me to THIS limit and that, my friends, is hurt rearing it's face as anger. So I was hurt. But by what?
Expectations. It was unrealistic expectations AGAIN. Why is this so freaking hard for me!? It is literally the number one thing that's difficult for me to not really accept...but to GRASP. I know that people let you down. I know that no one is perfect. I also know that everyone would never and could never do things the way I do and that's okay. I guess it's the pain that comes along with someone I thought so much of falling short of my expectations and this false reality I created that weighs heavy on my heart. Somehow I have to let that go. Here is my vulnerable place folks...I cry and I hurt when people let me down.
Yes, I am in a season of expectation letdowns right now. But, here is my saving grace, I am also in my season of GRATITUDE right now and that outweighs any letdown. I was just thinking yesterday that this year has been a good year regardless of any other small painful thing I experienced. Being in a season of letdowns at the same time as my season of gratitude is teaching me to focus on the things that matter more than the things that don't. So yes, I am in the midst of some of my HARDEST expectations lessons but I am also in the midst of one of my GREATEST and most POWERFUL gratitude seasons. And let me tell you...Gratitude won't ever let you down. I can feel God saying don't worry about those that fall short AND be grateful for the ones that don't. He is saying Shonda, be grateful for the ones that are always right there, in your corner, and routing you on. Acknowledge THOSE people more. He is saying stop expecting so much of people and they don't even know the expectations you have set for them. He is saying the ones that you have shared your expectations with if they don't live up to it...then they don't live up to it... are you willing to lower the bar or is that bar too low for you? That's your choice. God is saying be grateful for every single small thing that's panning out in your life right now and move past those things that cause hurt and frustration.
Guys, people are not perfect. We are some of the most flawed individuals on this planet. To be completely honest with you we let people down too. We don't call enough. We don't listen enough. We show up late. We sometimes set unrealistic expectations for people and blame them for letting us down and THAT is a hard pill to swallow but it's the truth. And yes, sometimes, people really do let us down even after we have explained our expectations and what causes us hurt and pain and they still cause hurt and pain. But if we can't forgive them and move on...with or without them in our lives...then we are constantly going to be in a place of bitterness, hurt, and frustration. We either have to accept them where they are or not at all.
So with this blog post I am letting all of my hurt, pain, and frustration go. All of the constant thoughts and verbalization of I've done this for them but they've not done this for me or the they did this but I would never do that to them....I let it go. I honestly Let. It. Go. I leave it right here on this post because I HAVE TO FOR ME.
What do you need to leave on this post with me? We all have something that is causing us hurt and frustration. Something that has been so hard for us to grasp or accept. Think about it because it is time to let that crap go ya'll. It is like a diseases that gets inside of us and slowly kills our spirit, our happiness, and our love for others. Don't become bitter sis/bro. Get rid of the "unrealistic fucking expectations." Grab a pen, write it down, and once you have done so ball that shit up into a tight ball and throw it in the GOBBAGE (Garbage lol). Let's let it go together so we can breathe and be grateful for all that is true and good in our lives because to be honest with you 2019 has been a great year and it's not even over yet.
Love you all
XOXO
Lashonda
.png)
Comments
Post a Comment